The Best Kind of Love

28 02 2007

by: Annette Paxman Bowen

I have a friend who is falling in love. She honestly claims the sky is bluer. Mozart moves her to tears. She has lost 15 pounds and looks like a cover girl. “I am young again!” she shouts exuberantly.

As my friend raves on about her new love, I’ve taken a good look at my old one. My husband of almost 20 years, Scott, has gained 15 pounds. Once a marathon runner, he now runs only down hospital halls. His hairline is receding and his body shows signs of long working hours and too many candy bars. Yet he can still give me a certain look across a restaurant table and I want to ask for the check and head home.

When my friend asked me “What will make this love last?” I ran through all the obvious reasons: commitment, shared interests, unselfishness, physical attraction, and communication.

Yet there’s more…

We still have fun.

Spontaneous good times. Yesterday, after slipping the rubber band off the rolled newspaper, Scott flipped it playfully at me: this led to an all-out war. Last Saturday at the grocery, we split the list and raced each other to see who could make it to the checkout first. Even washing dishes can be a blast. We enjoy simply being together.

And there are surprises.

One time I came home to find a note on the front door that led me to another note, then another, until I reached the walk-in closet. I opened the door to find Scott holding a “pot of gold” (my cooking kettle) and the “treasure” of a gift package. Sometimes I leave him notes on the mirror and little presents under his pillow.

There is understanding.

I understand why he must play basketball with the guys. And he understands why, once a year, I must get away from the house, the kids – and even him – to meet my sisters for a few days of nonstop talking and laughing.

There is sharing.

Not only do we share household worries and parental burdens – we also share ideas. Scott came home from a convention last month and presented me with a thick historical novel. Though he prefers thrillers and science fiction, he had read the novel on the plane. He touched my heart when he explained it was because he wanted to be able to exchange ideas about the book after I’d read it.

There is forgiveness.

When I’m embarrassingly loud and crazy at parties, Scott forgives me. When he confessed losing some of our savings in the stock market, I gave him a hug and said, “It’s okay. It’s only money.”

There is sensitivity.

Last week he walked through the door with that look that tells me it’s been a tough day. After he spent some time with the kids, I asked him what happened. He told me about a 60-year old woman that had a stroke. He wept as he recalled the woman’s husband standing beside her bed, caressing her hand. How was he going to tell this husband of 40 years that his wife would probably never recover? I shed a few tears myself. Because of the medical crisis. Because there were still people who have been married 40 years. Because my husband is still moved and concerned after years of hospital rooms and dying patients.

There is faith.

Last Tuesday a friend came over and confessed her fear that her husband is losing his courageous battle with cancer. On Wednesday I went to lunch with a friend who is struggling to reshape her life after divorce. On Thursday a neighbor called to talk about the frightening effects of Alzheimer’s disease on her father-in-law’s personality. On Friday a childhood friend called
long-distance to tell me her father had died. I hung up the phone and thought, This is too much heartache for one week.

Through my tears, as I went out to run some errands, I noticed the boisterous orange blossoms of the gladiolus outside my window. I heard the delighted laughter of my son and his friend as they played. I caught sight of a wedding party emerging from a neighbor’s house. The bride, dressed in satin and lace, tossed her bouquet to her cheering friends. That night, I told my
husband about these events. We helped each other acknowledge the cycles of life and that the joys counter the sorrows. It was enough to keep us going.

Finally, there is knowing.

I know Scott will throw his laundry just shy of the hamper every night; he’ll be late to most appointments and eat the last chocolate in the box. He knows that I sleep with a pillow over my head.

I guess our love lasts because it is comfortable.

No, the sky is not bluer: it’s just a familiar hue. We don’t feel particularly young: we’ve experienced too much that has contributed to our growth and wisdom, taking its toll on our bodies, and created our memories. I hope we’ve got what it takes to make our love last. As a bride, I had Scott’s wedding band engraved with Robert Browning’s line “Grow old along with me!”

We’re following those instructions. “If anything is real, the heart will make it plain.”

There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn’t expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust me, there are some love that don’t go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be blessed to end up with that somebody who has a little of that insanity. Somebody who never lets go. Somebody who cherishes you forever. Hope we all find this kind of love in our life.


A journey into God’s field called Love…

28 02 2007

Nakakatawa how one falls in love then falls out of it…
It’s funny rin how one would die looking for it,
while one would just let it die…
It’s ridiculous how each and everyone of us is very much affected by love…
And it’s a wonder how everyone lives because of LOVE…

Well, here is a story…

In a dream, GOD told me, that I could pick up any man I like from His field, but I have to choose only one and once na nakapili na ako, I have to raise my hand as a signal that I finally found him, then go back to GOD for praise. But NO!!! May isa pang kondisyon… I could never turn back, once nalampasan ko, I should move on. Sabi ko, GOD surely won’t give me rotten crops of men since I have been a good daughter and I deserve to be with a good man. So I was confident that I’ll get the best pick.

So my journey began. As I went through the field, nakita ko ang iba’t ibang klase ng lalake, some were tempting me to pick them up and some were indeed so tempting to pick up… Pero sabi ko, baka may mas guapo, mas mabait, mas matalino, mas masipag, mas mahal ako sa dulo ng field na ito. So I let go… Once. Twice. Thrice… I believed fervently that in the end of the field is my prince, waiting for me with open arms.

Then on the middle of the filed, I saw a man. He looked at me straight in the eye and blew a kiss. Our gazes met and I don’t know why, pero there was something in him that I longed for, I felt as if something was drawing me to him. Pero di pwede, I have to make it to the end of the field at baka sabihin ni God, atat ako and wala akong patience. And naisip ko if habang lumalayo ako, nakakakita ako ng ganitong klase ng lalake, baka as I move further eh may mas hihigit pa sa kanya…

Until, I reached the end of the field… at wala na akong nakita!!!

GOD asked me, “Hija, di ba napakakulit mo? at sa araw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos… ay, ako pala yun… eh nagdadasal ka na magkaroon ng perfect partner in life? bakit ngayon wala kang dala? Isn’t My crops all fresh and good? Is nothing there ready and good for picking?”

I answered, “I thought I would see someone at the end of the field, Eh wala na po pala. I thought that each step I took will brought me closer to perfection when in fact, each step will brought me closer to nothingness pala. I remembered that man who was looking at me. I know he’s the one but I let him go, believing na there’s someone better at the end of the field.

God said, “I’m sorry my child, but I have given you enough time to choose. Now, you should face reality and its consequences.”

With my head bowed down I said, “I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough to raise my hand in the middle of the field and commit myself to someone. I was not ready to face the challenges of life with someone I thought was of lesser value than me… I’m sorry.” I am saying sorry to GOD and feeling sorry for myself and my life.

Then I realized that GOD is giving me another chance to choose but not in His field but in the field of uncertainty. Now, I’m thinking about that man in the field, the man I felt was for me, wondering what might have been if I raised my hand the moment I saw him…

What is the meaning of all our hardship to be successful and wealthy? We may become the most powerful and successful person on earth but if we don’t have that someone whom will we share our love and happiness with, then everything that we worked for will not be worth anything.

So, this is for everyone who are still on God’s field, to all those who are still searching and hoping to find the right one… Think about it. Explore GOD’s field. I’m sure the right one is just there, maaring in the beginning, in the middle or in the end. It’s there for you to find out, and most importantly, it’s for you to choose.

It’s a part of the whole concept of love. It’s a risk you have to take, a decision you have to make. And once you have decided on it, there’s no turning back. Bear in mind that with this, comes the courage to raise your hand and declare that you’ve found your match, whether you’re at the beginning, in the middle or at the end of your journey. Or else, you’ll regret it.

At ang huling phase ng lahat ng yan eh ito lang — once you’ve raised your hand, go back to God and thank Him. In short, maging kontento ka sa napili mo. Ikaw naman ang pumili nyan eh. All He did was to give you options. And since He gave you that privilege, consider it as a blessing .

So, bahala na kayong mag-esep esep about this wala lang ako mai-post

Now, have you found the right one???

Words of wisdom…

21 02 2007

Dr. Maya Angelou is a remarkable Renaissance woman who is hailed as one of the great voices of contemporary literature. As a poet, educator, historian, best-selling author, actress, playwright, civil-rights activist, producer and director, she continues to travel the world, spreading her legendary wisdom. Within the rhythm of her poetry and elegance of her prose lies Angelou’s unique power to help readers of every orientation span the lines of race and Angelou captivates audiences through the vigor and sheer beauty of her words and lyrics.

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday.

Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.
And, there on television, she said it was “exciting.” Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day…like her breasts.
They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.
The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!

“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.”

“I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

“I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.”

“I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as “making a life.”

“I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.”

“I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back.”

“I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.”

“I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.”

“I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.
People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.”

“I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.”

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Life is Short…

20 02 2007

Here’s some rules to make it worthile…

Always try to help a friend in need

Believe in yourself

Be brave…but it’s ok to be afraid sometimes

Study hard

Give lots of kisses

Laugh often

Don’t be overly concerned with your weight, it’s just a number

Always try to see the glass half full

Meet new people, even if they look different to you

Remain calm, even when it seems hopeless

Take lots of naps..

Be weird whenever you have the chance

Love your friends, no matter who they are

Don’t waste food


Take an occasional risk

Try to have a little fun each day
…it’s important

Work together as a team

Share a joke with friends

Fall in love with someone..

…and say “I love you” often

Express yourself creatively

Be conscious of your appearance

Always be up for surprises

Love someone with all of your heart

Share with friends

Watch your step

It will get better

There is always someone who loves you more than you know

Exercise to keep fit

Live up to your name

Seize the Moment

Hold on to good friends; they are few and far between

Indulge in the things you truly love

Cherish every Sunday

At the end of the day… PRAY

……. and close your eyes
And smile at least once a day!

Here’s something to touch our hearts…

19 02 2007

Sa aking pagtanda, unawain mo sana ako at pagpasensyahan. Kapag dala ng kalabuan ng mata ay nakabasag ako ng pinggan o nakatapon ng sabaw sa hapag kainan, huwag mo sana akong kagagalitan. Maramdamin ang isang matanda. Nagse-self-pity ako a tuwing sisigawan mo ako.

Kapag mahina na ang tenga ko at hindi ko maintindihan ang sinasabi mo, huwag mo naman sana akong sabihan ng “binge!” paki-ulit nalang ang sinabi mo o pakisulat nalang. Pasensya ka na, anak. Matanda na talaga ako.

Kapag mahina na tuhod ko, pagtiyagaan mo sana akong tulungang tumayo, katulad ng pag-aalalay ko sa iyo noong nag-aaral ka pa lamang lumakad.

Pagpasensyahan mo sana ako kung ako man ay nagiging makulit at paulit ulit na parang sirang plaka. Basta pakinggan mo nalang ako. Huwag mo sana akong pagtatawanan o pagsasawaang pakinggan. Natatandaan mo anak noong bata ka pa? kapag gusto mo ng lobo,paulit-ulit mo ‘yong sasabihin, maghapon kang mangungulit hangga’t hindi mo nakukuha ang gusto mo. Pinagtyagaan ko ang kakulitan mo.

Pagpasensyahan mo na rin sana ang aking amoy. Amoy matanda, amoy lupa. Huwag mo sana akong piliting maligo. Mahina na ang katawan ko. Madaling magkasakit kapag nalamigan, huwag mo sana akong pandirihan. Natatandaan mo noong bata ka pa? Pinatyagaan kitang habulin sa ilalim ng kama kapag ayaw mong maligo.

Pagpasensyahan mo sana kung madalas, ako’y masungit, dala na marahil ito ng katandaan. Pagtanda mo, maiintindihan mo rin.

Kapag may konti kang panahon, magkwentohan naman tayo, kahit sandali lang. inip na ako sa bahay, maghapong nag-iisa. Walang kausap. Alam kong busy ka sa trabaho, subalit nais kong malaman mo na sabik na sabik na akong makakwentohan ka, kahit alam kong hindi ka interesado sa mga kwento ko. Natatandaan mo anak, noong bata ka pa? Pinagtyagaan kong pakinggan at intindihin ang pautal-utal mong kwento tungkol sa iyong teddy bear.

At kapag dumating ang sandali na ako’y magkakasakit at maratay sa banig ng karamdaman, huwga mo sana akong pagsawaan alagaan. Pagpasensyahan mo na sana kung ako man ay maihi o madumi sa higaan, pagtyagaan mo sana akong alagaan sa mga huling sandali ng aking buhay. Tutal hindi na naman ako magtatagal.

Kapag dumating ang sandali ng aking pagpanaw, hawakan mo sana ang aking kamay at bigyan mo ako ng lakas ng loob na harapin ang kamatayan.

At huwag kang mag-alala, kapag kaharap ko na ang Diyos na lumikha, ibubulong ko sa kanya na pagapalain ka sana … dahil naging mapagmahal ka sa iyong ama’t ina…

-Written by Rev. Fr. Ariel F. Robles
CWL Spiritual Director
St. Augustine Parish
Baliuag, Bulacan

Birthday dinner with the “Bestest Friends and Family” ever!

19 02 2007

Thank you guys for all the birthday messages, emails , and the “unplanned” and somehow “planned” birthday dinner…
I really appreciate it and surely made my day brighter!

with (R-L) Tess, and Daisy

(R-L) Moi, Sweet, Odessa, Arlene and Pam

Thank you too to the ff:
Lou, for the wonderful “e-card”, Jason, Maritess, Leslie, Ochie, Irene, Beth, Ate Chie, Joyce, Marie, Edwin, Cherryl, Jenny, M’ Denise, Tita Neneth, J, Chino, Tita Tessie, my sister Ciarra, for all your YM greetings and SMS messages and also Hermie, for the phonecalls and YM chat schedule that I missed! shucks! I’m so sorry talaga for missing it but I thank you talaga for the greetings.

And of course thank you to my Super Mom, (she was able to prepare all these food in such short notice imagine? ) Thank you for the Pancit (for Long Life daw), Beef Tenderloin Tips, Grilled Chicken, and the Fresh Fruit Salad it surely filled us up. mwoah! Love you Ma!, my Dad, for driving around to transport all the goodies from their kitchen to ours. he he he. My Bro Jilani, for braving the palengke to buy the chicken and the vegetables he he. Arlina, (and Nanay, kasi si nanay ang nagluto while arlina is watching he he he) for the Pancit, my! i’m sure i’ll have a very long life for all the pancit now. Sweet, for the Sweets that are really sweet ha ha ha!. Mel, for the Sansrival! yum yum!. Pam and her hubby Jon, for the oh so good! Leche Flan and Crema. Tess, Daisy, Geoff, for coming even sobra immediate ng invitation ko, pasensiya na ha, the dinner was not planned kasi talaga. (Thank you lang kay Sweet and Arlene’s connivance! ha ha ha!) Jenny, (our ever reliable angel) for all the help and making sure everything’s clean and ready for the dinner kahit naka day-off na siya he he.

At siempre! my birthday won’t be complete without the sweetest thing in the world… my sweet baby James! Mwah! Love you my sweet and thank you for the birthday cake and thank you for always being here with me. (Akala ko you really won’t be able to make it, and it would be the 1st time that you will miss my birthday in our 8 years together, sad na ako talaga eh. he he he! and I’m really glad that you really made sure that you won’t miss my birthday. I appreciate it very much my sweet and you just don’t know how happy and thankful I am for it.) Mwah! I love you!.

Teka lang I need to mention someone…. kasi he will make tampo for not being included here for sure he he he… so sige na I thank also my sweet baby Guile! (I have to make the tagline same as his Tito James or he’ll get jealous he he.) Actually, my sweet baby Guile is the first one to give me gift for my birthday (well the story about this “gift” deserves a separate post so just wait for it.) Mwah! I love you too my sweet baby Guile! thank you for always making mommy’s birthday special. Mwah!

Again, Thank you everyone! and I am looking forward for more years of love and friendship… kisses!

Happy Birthday to ME!

18 02 2007

Today is the first day of my another 365-day journey to the world, and I would like to thank everyone for the last 31 years for sharing and making it better. I hope you guys will continue to be there for me…