Let Go

16 07 2005

by ishda   
This story is about you and that boy. The boy with
the dreamy brown eyes who looked at you with so much melancholy on
those lazy afternoons you shared back in the past. He made you laugh, made you feel
poetic. He lived in a romantic world, and he took you with him. You
just forgot to bring the ticket so you were dropped off from the bus
and was made to walk back home alone.

He used to worship the ground you walked on. He used to pluck
flowers for you in the sidewalk. Played basketball with you under the
rain, and made you sleep on his bed.  He was perfect.
He was beautiful, and mysterious, and so sad at times that you wanted
to protect him from the bad memories, which haunt him on his sleep. You
used to want to kiss his lips when he made an effort to laugh at your
jokes. You wanted to hold him longer than the hugs you occasionally
shared, but you never had a chance to. You chickened out too easily,
and you always cared about what other people will say.

You will never be over him. It’s been years and you’re
still smitten. Pathetic. It was your fault you two never had the chance
to be together. It wasn’t his fault that you chose the boy who was
stable, bright, and… ordinary. You thought that’s what you
needed. You were so ready to throw everything you two shared then. You
just wanted to be friends, that kind of bull. And he bought it. He
nursed his heart back into health and pursued a life that has nothing
to do with you. And it used to be alright. Yes, you look at him from
time to time, feel a certain regret at the deepest corner of your
heart, but you manage to ignore it. You believed you two were never
meant to be.

It’s been  years since the last time you saw adoration in
his eyes when he looked at you. Years since the last time you
shared the afternoon
sun, played with the strands of his hair. Years since you said you
two will never be anything else but friends. Years since you walked
away from his life.

You need to let go. You need to forget. You have to stop fooling yourself that the
universe will conspire to get you two together again. The universe
doesn’t even think you deserve a second chance.

This story somehow reminds me of someone in my past and that someone kept on loving and caring. I admit,  I might have been blind when i was younger, for not being able to see the wonders of his love and to let go of somethng that might have been good… 
sigh…. Its so sad to be loved and cared for by someone you can’t love back anymore.




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